Brightest Lyrics by Copeland

Brightest LyricsArtist(Band):Copeland
If you find yourself here on my side of town
I'd pray that you'd come to my door
Talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about
Cause I don't remember anymore
I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar
And I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she says that i am the brightest little firefly in her jar

Perfection...unacheivable

I guess I've been known to screw up quite a few things in my life.

Hah. It's not really a big surprise though.

After all I am TIFFANY.

I mean, I've messed up...
friendships, relationships, relationships with family, and even a whole lot more random things (like science projects).

What is it about myself that I always tend to screw up things.

I say the wrong thing.
I do the wrong thing.
I make the wrong assumptions.
I make the wrong choice.

hmph.

I guess I could get pretty depressed if I wanted.

I could feel sorry for myself.

But,

I don't.

I know I have made the right decision when I gave my life over to God. Wherever He takes me, and whatever He does with me... I know is the best thing for me.

Despite my mess ups... He still loves me and believes in me.

In the meantime, I'll just keep trying.

Keep trying to become better.

Striving for unacheivable perfection.

Teenage Girls and CPR

Early yesterday morning...for me at least...9:30. The pastor at my parents church wants to talk to me about what I'm doing this summer. He wants me to be involved and wants to give me speakin oppurtunities.

"I'll let you be involved and do as much as YOU want to do."

I appreciate his confidence in me, especially not really knowing me. But it made me nervous all at the same time.

I love teenagers.

I love girls (not in a gay way, I'm perfectly in like with my boyfriend, Josh, whom I love and respect).

I love hanging out with teenage girls. Just being able to be their friend.

He tells me the teenage girls small group is without a leader at the moment...then he said it. Or asked it. He asked me to step in for the summer.

Just to build relationships with them.
Hang out with them.
Let them know I care, and that I'm there.

Doesn't sound too hard, does it?

I mean, I'm a pretty sociable person and I have gone to Bible College for two years. Plus grown up with a dad that was a pastor.

But I'm scared. I'm nervous.

I know Jesus will help though. He is my strength.

::chuckle inside to myself:: Now is a great time to believe in myself I suppose, eh? Yeah, I've been learning how to do that lately.

NOW ON A COMPLETE DIFFERENT SPECTRUM...
CPR.

The life saving act of performing CPR.

I have the awesome privelege of working under the wondrous Mrs. Molly Boyle who has mentored me and taught me all the ends and outs when it comes to anything related to aquatics.

This week and next week I am going through the process of obtainting my Lifeguard Instructor certification with the American Red Cross.

I can basically train and certify people to become lifeguards...teach them how to rescue people out of water.
-teach them CPR
-teach them First Aid
-teach them how to use an AED (Automated External Defibrilator)

yea, I can teach them how to use the thing that shocks people with a cardiac emergency.

Part of getting this certification is not only helping Mrs. Boyle with the current lifeguarding class, but also teach a whole lesson by myelf to the class.

I teach tommorow.

I teach CPR tommorow.

Talk about being nervous and scared. If I don't teach this the right way, I'm straight up legally liable.

So yea, CPR... I teach it tommorow to this class of future lifeguards.

Who would have ever thought I'd be doing this?

Training Lifeguards.

WoW.

I've come a long way.

That's right, I said I've come a long way.

Swimmingly and Spiritually.

Thanks Pastor. Thanks Mrs. Boyle.

Thanks for putting confidence in me.

To mentor young girls. To train lifeguards. To teach CPR.

Thanks Jesus.
thanks for everything.

regret.that.hurts

Regret.

It's pretty strong inside right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Ever did something that pretty much just slapped you right back in the face? Yea, I did. Tonight.

I'm sorry.

It just doesn't really do justice though to the way I feel now. Anything, I'd do anything. Just to make it better. I want there to be a way to erase that from your mind and my mind.

Like a dart piercing you in the heart, I'm sure that's how it felt. Now in mine, it's a stabbing numbing pain... just knowing I hurt the one I love the most in such a vast way.

They very thing you needed from me... I gave the opposite. I made things worse, not better.

Sorry I'm not there yet. At that place where you need me to be. I'm not perfect. My actions are not perfect. The words that come out of my mouth are not perfect. I want it to be perfect though.

I'm still your cheerleader.

your supporter

your #1 Fan

your encouragement.

I'm sorry I failed this time.

Oh Lord, what am I to do. I screwed up big time. I've got myself in a hole, a big one. I need this to be better... HE needs this to be better.

Humility...

We all have those times in life when God seems to pull out the very tiniest of tiny things in fr om our flesh. We should all make sure we clean our hearts out daily, but sometimes I find that the Lord is sending me through an extra purification process. The little things that could seem minute to others and even to myself, really do matter to God.

Humility.

It's a word I've been becomming extremely familiar with lately. Admitting I'm not as strong as I want to be. Admitting I'm not as strong even as I want to be.

Since going to college and becomming "my own person" I think I've lost a sense of humility. Not in the way of "I think I'm better" or "I'm the best" or "I've got all these talents". Moreso in a way of not wanting to admit that every now and then I need a little help.

When someone offers to do a favor for you, you should graciously accept. I always tell them thanks, but I've got it under control... because I've become wrapped up with the "I can do it all by myself" attitude because I'm my own person.

I've been blessed with amazing parents, who love me dearly. By no means are they rich, but they have always been really smart with their money. They also sacrifice to the extremes just to make sure I have a good life and go far in life. Not only are they paying for my college (PRAISE THE BABY JESUS), but they also offer at time to give me money just because. I try to turn it down, because I want them to think that I've got it all under control because remember, I'm my own person.

After two years of this... God has begun to deal with me. They offer to help because they love me, not because they see me as weak. I need to accept the money they offer, because I'm actually accepting their love. Them offering to help me out financially is only an act of love... it's a way of saying "We love you Tiffany, hope this helps you out some".

Humility.

I'm learning it. And a whole new meaning to go along with it.

Brand Spankin' New

I suppose I'm rather new at this. At this world of blogging. But here's to a brand new blog...